La Gwyneth here, la Gwyneth there, la Gwyneth everywhere.

She's everywhere these days.

She’s everywhere these days.


Bueno, it had to happen sooner or later.

My dysfunctional love/hate relationship con la Gwyneth Paltrow has reached new heights. I really don’t know how to help myself…Somebody stop me from buying/consuming all the magazines and books where my nemesis slash bff Gwyneth is on the cover, por favor.

This month was particularly bad. She was voted the World’s Most Beautiful Woman on the cover of People so there I go and ahí te van 5 dólares. I wouldn’t go THAT far as to say she is the world’s most beautiful woman, pero who cares I bought it anyway. She had another cover this May for Harper’s Bazaar, so there go another 5 pesitos. And I finally found her new book at Costco and succumbed to it. Lo veia en el Barnes & Noble pero me dolía el codo pagar los 32 bucks, so I just waited for the $17.69 deal at Costco.

I’ve subscribed to her goop.com ever since she started it, I think she’s the celebrity I’ve mentioned most on this blog, I follow her on Twitter, la veo en el Hola, me sé toda su vida, o sea, in a nutshell, soy su groupie.

And yet, when I see her on TV, when she’s giving an interview with her snobby upscale vocabulary, cuando parece que she’s perfect and makes you feel somewhat inadequate for not being all perfect all the time, or when she’s wearing those weird see through dresses like at the recent premier for IronMan, de veras que my inner voice says, Urgh! No te aguanto. Ya bájale Gwyneth. No manches.

A dichotomy indeed.

Pero no me considero de los multiples haters que tiene en la vida (hay muchos que la detestan), ni tampoco me atrevería a dejarle un negative comment en su blog.

Most of the time, I’ll admit that she does inspire me, she does make me want to be a better cook and a healthier person. Like the time she said that the Vitamix would change your life and I believed her. (Yes, I bought it, and yes it has, and now I can’t live without it.)

Her new cookbook is a beautiful set of photos and recipes that I’m reading (and enjoying) cover to cover. Just by looking at the pictures I feel good, like I want to try them all and host a party or something. Tiene muy buen gusto, I’ll give her that. All the images are gorgeous, the fonts and the design are simple, the colors are bright. Está muy padre el libro. 

I can’t post any of the images from the book because of her very clearly written copyright notice de que pobre de nosotros si hacemos upload anything in the book without her permission. No quería poner ninguna receta sin permiso, of course. I do have a queja, though: hay una receta que le llama EASY POSOLE. With an S.  

Ahi si me dieron ganas de escribirle y decirle que where I come from, el POZOLE se escribe con Z. It’s POZOLE! Y que lleva some sort of meat. (She does a meatless easy “posole” with hominy y dice que le puedes poner rabanitos y aguacate to garnish it.)

So if you want to check the book out, vayan a la Costco to get a better deal. And if you’re like me, on Thursday you’ll be reading her latest installment on goop.com, a ver con que nos sale ahora. I’m not even a Mommy blogger and I want to get everything she recommends for the kids! I don’t have a superstar budget and I’m browsing through all her exclusive Goop fashion designer selections as if I were going to buy. Te digo, no tengo remedio.

Read my past posts mentioning La Gwyneth aquí en los links.

La Gwyneth ya bloggea en español (11 June 2009)

Cookbooks Galore (13 April 2010)

Joining the Vitamix Lovers of America (27 Sept 2012)

Spring Cleaning part 1: The editing process (18 April 2013)

Hey J.Crew, como que estás muy “Oaxaca inspired”

It’s Friday, it’s full on Spring weather in LA, and my freshly minted copy of the J.Crew Style Guide arrived in the mail today. Aaaah! Time for some fantasy shopping and virtual wish lists. It’s like I want the entire catalog every month. 

Something caught my eye, however, about these Spring trends and colorful items featured in the catalog this month. Como que J.Crew se fue south of the border for some inspiration, y se fusilaron todas las modas, textiles y los patterns de las oaxaqueñas y las guatemaltecas. Hmmm, these look really familiar. 

Claro que están padrísimas y super cute. But if the median price range from their collection is $110-395 dollars, it makes me think we should probably all book a trip down there soon and  bring back some of these goods, whilst we support the (our) people and artists who created the original styles. We should consider doing that instead.  Se me hace que esto es mas “fair practice” and doing the better thing.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to see these Latino trends in mainstream fashion. There’s blouses, linen tunics, a “Mercado” poncho (for $395 bucks thank you very much) and chanclitas and huaraches galore to get us all excited. It’s not like we didn’t know all these things were fashionable, but it takes a powerhouse company like J.Crew to bring it to the general market in America and you can bet your bottom dollar they’re gonna use it for all it’s worth, sin pagar derechos de autor. 

I guess that’s why they call it capitalism, right? (Lo malo es que lo copian en China y se roban toda la creatividad de los nuestros… sigh.)

This brings up a conflict of interest for me. Pero no me hagan mucho caso. I love J.Crew and can’t really speak ill of them, except to say que me gustaria que le bajaran a los precios mas seguido.

By the way, Jenna Lyons is on the cover of Fast Company this month and there’s a great story of how the company works with a behind the scenes look at her office. 

Here’s a sneak peak at what they’re featuring this month.

The "Embroidered Gauze Top" retails for $110 dollars. Must be nice! (Photo from jcrew.com)

The “Embroidered Gauze Top” inspired by a vintage Mexican folk dress retails for $110 dollars. Must be nice! (Photo from jcrew.com)

I can't get over the "MERCADO" poncho. This baby sets you back $350 bucks. ¡No manchen! (screenshot from jcrew.com)

I can’t get over the “MERCADO” poncho. This baby sets you back $395 bucks. ¡No manchen! (screenshot from jcrew.com)

Here's another look at the Mercado Popover from jcrew.com ($395 bucks I tell you!)

Here’s another look at the Mercado Popover from jcrew.com ($395 bucks I tell you!)

A short sleeve sweater with patterns and embroidery reminiscent of the Mayas. "Collection short sleeve beaded sweater" retails for $188 at jcrew.com.

A short sleeve sweater with patterns and embroidery reminiscent of the Mayas. “Collection short sleeve beaded sweater” retails for $188 at jcrew.com.

Jenna Lyons on the cover of Fast Company this month (a good read!) and the May 2013 Style Guide from J. Crew. (photo from iPad)

Jenna Lyons on the cover of Fast Company this month (a good read!) and the May 2013 Style Guide from J. Crew. (photo from iPad)

For the photogallery Inside Jenna Lyons office, click here.

Save Thanksgiving!!! Target opening at 9pm. Is nothing sacred anymore?

Every year, parece que los Holidays llegan way to soon. This year it wasn’t even mid-October when Target was running their “Holidays are Here” spot on tv.

And today I’m reading that Target is opening their stores in advance of Black Friday on Thanksgiving Night (Thursday) at 9pm.

Hey, Target: WTF???

Is nothing sacred anymore? Not even THE one night in which our founding fathers dedicated a meal to being GRATEFUL and coming together? This has me very upset, and I don’ even work at Target. Imagine how the employees must feel to have their free time with family cut back every year: First they started with a 4 am opening, then earlier to 12 am, now they’re opening the night of…just very disappointing. (Last year I wrote a similar post on the subject, although maybe it was a little more eloquent. Right now I’m just pissed off that Turkey Day is evaporating even as we speak.)

You can call me a grinch or a party pooper, but I will not be participating in the Black Friday mad house and over the top hoopla that marketers and retailers are hell bent on pushing over us. I’m done with it. 

Good thing someone had the good sense to put up a petition on change.org where you can kindly ask Target to cease and desist from this madness and Save Thanksgiving.

You can sign it here: (I just did and there were almost 193 thousand petitions signed already. Keep ’em coming!)

https://www.change.org/petitions/target-take-the-high-road-and-save-thanksgiving 

I’ll tell you one thing: I am a loyal Target shopper, but will be very disappointed if they go through with this and will probably end up boycotting them altogether this Holiday Season. Ya me cayeron gordos.

He dicho.

Holiday madness: Shop till you drop! But Target is going way too far by opening at 9pm on Thanksgiving.

Must See Documentary on OWN: “Miss Representation” and the ways women are portrayed by the media

Thank God somebody finally made a documentary about the  sexist, manipulative, and derogatory ways women are featured in the Media in this day and age.

On Thursday night, OWN TV (Oprah’s Network) will premiere the film “Miss Representation” at 8 pm. It was directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom. I took one look at the trailer and I’m hooked and telling everyone I know to see it.

Tengo años quejándome  de cómo mujeres como la Kim Kardashian and her clan, or any of the “real housewives”, or any number of latinas on Hispanic Television who love to show cleavage as they read the news, are portrayed or portray themselves as mere objects of desire. They’re abusing their physical appearance to get ahead. “It’s all about the body, not about the brains,” like one of the testimonials says in the film. Look at all the “encueratrices” on b-list magazine covers that adorn the newsstand. Look at how the magazines antagonize women against each other. Frankly I’m tired of it and that’s why I’m so excited to see this.

Take a look at the trailer and I think you’ll be hooked as well.

I went so far as to take a pledge on their website to tell everyone I know about this.

So here’s my part: Mujeres, VEAMOS ESTE DOCUMENTAL. Apoyemos esta causa, let’s support each other and the younger girls coming to age so they won’t be affected by this messed up view of women and female roles.

I went online at www.missrepresentation.org to sign up. Here’s the response I got from the team behind this film:

Thanks for joining our movement to end sexism!

Now that you’ve taken the MissRepresentation.org pledge, here are some actions you can take immediately to make a difference:

1. Tell 5 people about the film and share one thing you learned from watching it.

 2. Parents- watch TV and films with your children.  Raise questions like “What if that character had been a girl instead?”

 3. Remember your actions influence others. Mothers, aunts and loved ones- don’t downgrade or judge yourself by your looks. Fathers, uncles and loved ones—treat women around you with respect.  Remember children in your life are watching and learning from you.

 4. Use your consumer power. Stop buying tabloid magazines and watching shows that degrade women. Go see movies that are written and directed by women (especially on opening weekend to boost the box office ratings). Avoid products that resort to sexism in their advertising.

5. Mentor others! It’s as easy as taking a young woman to lunch. Start by having open and honest conversations with a young person in your life.

You are now dialed into a national movement to stand up to sexism and challenge the media’s limiting portrayals of gender. Together we will make a huge impact on contemporary society.

 So COUNT ME IN! Ya era hora. About time we all did something about this. Arriba las mujeres!


Netflix, what the hell?

Did you hear about the recent changes to Netflix? Not only have they doubled the subscription rate “just because we feel like it,” they are now separating into 2 companies: Quickster, which will handle DVDs, and Netflix will continue to stream online. You’ll go to 2 different websites to select movies and you’ll get 2 separate bills on your credit card. (Bad move, people!)

People are mad! I’m mad!  I’m seriously considering dropping my subscription and just going to the movie theaters more often. (Oh wait, eso me sale más caro.)

Screen shot from the LA Times. By the way, I hate the name Quickster.

Evidently, the senior management team at Netflix never heard of the phrase “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” because not only are they breaking their company apart, they’re practically plunging down their stock value and alienating us.

This consumer discontent is already making the rounds in the news. See the link from the LA Times published today and tell me, would any sane business person really think this was a smart business move? It doesn’t make sense to mess with your loyal customers.

Read it here: “Once high flying Netflix is now stumbling.” (LAT, Sept. 20. 2011)

Maybe Netflix empezó a descuidar a su consumer base ever since they announced they were expanding into Latin America and other parts of the world. I know my friends and family in México were so excited. Of course they wouldn’t be receiving DVDs through the mail y con el cartero (el correo parece que se quedo en el siglo pasado en algunos lugares) but they’re all down for getting the service online. Hmm, maybe I should alert them to think twice before subscribing. It’s hard to recommend them after this fiasco.

Pero si no es Netflix, ahora con quien nos vamos? Se acabaron los video rental places. Maybe now the local Blockbuster store wishes they had stuck around just a bit longer, right?

Oprah, please don’t go. (Yes, I love Oprah.)

If you’ve been watching TV in the last 25 years (and unless you’re a caveman, who hasn’t?) it is very likely that you’ve seen the Oprah Winfrey show at some point in your life. Maybe you’re even one of the fans and loyal viewers who used to tape her on VCR in the 80’s and 90’s and then switched to DVR the last few years. That is where I fall in, and frankly, I am in denial about the next 2 weeks when the Oprah show comes to an end.

I remember I started watching her after school. I was in the 8th grade and really liked the way she talked about things. I also remember getting her weight loss book “Make the connection” a few years later- already in college with the freshman 15 adding up -and thinking, “La Oprah es de las mias! She understands me. Oprah is my friend.”

We all knew the show was ending and we thought we’d be ok, right? She let us know way in advance last September.  It’s been fun to go through the reminiscing, to see the classic clips from her 25 year history, and all the memories they stir up from when we watched the show originally. But as the countdown keeps moving on…”Only 15 shows left, only 10 shows left…etc.” I have been getting really sad. Who is going to be there every afternoon/evening for us to connect with? Where will I go for an AHA moment?? Who is going to inspire me- again- to get a new makeover as I just saw on her last makeover ever? Oh noooo, she can’t go! I know she’s all happy she’s going to her OWN Network, but she won’t be there full time and it just won’t be the same. Buu!

Anyhow, I think the lesson (she’s always asking “What is the lesson?”..) is that eventually, we all have to move along with our lives, embrace change, seek new opportunities, reinvent ourselves… YADA YADA YADA, bla bla bla! Es cierto pero no me voy a poner a sermonearlos aquí! I don’t know, maybe in the “new” spare hour, I will finally use my time to learn to crochet.

Today I received my monthly O magazine and there she is, saying goodbye again.  Got the sinking feeling that her millions of viewers are dreading May 25, when the show is off the air and we’re all left in limbo. Y ahora quien podrá ayudarme?? como dijo el Chapulin Colorado.

Her latest cover of the O magazine. Saying goodbye, the long goodbye.

It’s Cinco de Mayo, the most “gringo” of Mexican holidays

Ready for a Margarita? It’s that time of year again, when the USA celebrates a Mexican historical event nobody in Mexico even remembers. (It’s NOT Mexican Independence Day, people, please!)

Happy Cinco de Mayo! The unofficial Mexican-est holiday in the US and the historic date nobody in Mexico cares for.

La Batalla de Puebla took place in 1862 and will be commemorated all across the USA with mariachi music and cheap margarita mix.  As I retweeted from Vanity Fair this morning: “Cinco de Mayo is Spanish for the day when every lame bar brings out the tacky decorations and jacks up the price of Corona and Cuervo.” And you want taquitos with that? Or some basic quesadillas con carne? All the chefs  came out with boring “mexican inspired” recipes this morning on the morning shows.

Salud Señores! Yo paso. I’d rather be at the sushi happy hour with a Sapporo and sashimi, thank you very much.