Happy Monday everybody. San Lunes yet again!
Doing my usual morning reads and caught up with one of my favorite writer/comedians, Mr. Bill Santiago. He has another brilliant post on the Latino HuffPo, this time it’s about the recent Time magazine cover (YES, we’re still talking about it.)
Remember how I was all proud of it and happy for the “Yo Decido” cover? Well he has a great alternative view on it. And it’s in Spanglish, of course.
Here’s the link and a little teaser. Take your time to read it porque esta medio largo, but totally worth your time.
(Orale Bill! Te echaste un home run otra vez. Congrats!)
Dear TIME Magazine:
Someone just handed me a copy of your latest issue. You know, the one with all of the Latinos on the cover. Why so many? Are you trying to make up for all those years since that Ricky Martin cover back in 1999? I still have that one, by the way. But this one is very special too. More special, kinda. The headline really got my attention: Yo Decido. Is it true that this is the first time TIME has had a Spanish sentence on the cover? Because, you know Spanish has been around a long time in this country. Actually, it was here before English. So it seems like TIME is behind the times on that. You’re catching up, though, and that’s admirable.
But you blew it. Here’s what the title should have been: Somos Los Deciders.
What do you think? I know, brilliant. See, first of all it’s Spanglish, which may one day be the official language of the United States, the way things are going. I mean you’d be surprised how many Latinos are bilingual and perfectly able to think and speak in both English and Spanish simultaneously. Actually, ni siquiera nos damos cuenta that we’re doing it.
Plus, did you get the reference to Bush and how he used to call himself, ‘the decider’? (I always called him El Pendejo, Jr., myself.) Anyway, my version works on a lot of different levels, makes you look cool, and is pretty hilarious. I bet you’re sorry you didn’t run your idea by me first. Well, next time, remember, I’m here if you need me.
Now the subtitle, I like. Very provocative. It says that Latinos are going to pick the next president. If that’s true, Republicans are in trouble. Because every time we Latinos look at the GOP, what we see is Gringoes On Parade. You mention in your editor’s note, right there on the second page, that Ronald Reagan used to say that Hispanics were Republicans who didn’t know it. Well, I think Republicans son unos malditos racistas desgraciados who don’t know it.
Have you been watching those debates? I have. Not all 20,000 of them. But a few, and it’s scary what gets applause. English-only, applause. E-verify, applause. Build a wall on the border, applause. Build two walls, applause. Electrify both walls and put a moat in between them filled with crocodiles, applause. Deport Dora the Explorer, applause. Nominate Jan Brewer for sainthood, applause. Repeal Oprima El Dos, applause. Replace capital gains tax with piñata tax, applause. Ban ethnic studies, applause. Ban ethnics, applause. Fire teachers with accents, applause. Fire baseball players with accents… well, let’s not get carried away.