No More “Mr. Nice Guy”

I think i'ts time we revisited the the Etiquette Manual by Emily Post.


It’s Wednesday and it’s still early, so indulge me a little as I rant about thoughts going through my mind on hump day. Specifically the lack of courtesy and manners that I’ve come to notice recently.
A couple of days ago I had to go to Target after work. I was doing my rounds and then I had to use the ladies room. Lo and behold it was closed for cleaning, and the guy clearly had no intention of hurrying up. “Come back later,” he snapped. Great, I thought. Me voy a andar meando por toda la tienda… (sorry for the visual guys.)
I came back later and it still wasn’t ready, but I noticed women were using the handicapped restroom, a single one. So I waited in line. When it was my turn, a rude lady comes in with her shopping cart and 3 young kids and cuts me off. She demands to go in “because my kid needs to go and I can’t afford another dirty diaper.”
“Excuse me!” I say. “We’ve all been waiting here for a while and I also need to go.” At which point I turn to the poor kid and feel sorry for him. So I’m going to be the better person and let her go, but the lady just brushes me off with a “Talk to the hand” gesture. THE RUDENESS OF PEOPLE! I was shocked but not surprised, if that makes any sense.
You see, just before this incident, over the weekend, I had gone out of my way to help a friend out. This person was visiting from out of town and had asked me to help set up a project they were working on, something on which I have a bit of expertise. I was frankly happy to help, so we agreed on a time and location. We’re all busy, we know, but this time would be good for both of us.
Flash forward to then, and this person shows up late, a little rattled even, but invites me for coffee. At which point this person suddenly discovers that their wallet was left in the car. Ok, no worries, my treat.
We proceed to go over the project, quickly mind you, because this person has something to do afterwards and they don’t want to be late for THAT…but the WIFI service at Starbucks is slow and it’s getting to be that hour and there are still more things to discuss… so we don’t finish.
I realize that in that span of almost 90 minutes, there were no inquiries about my things whatsoever, or any interest in my updates on life. Bah! I thought. It’s my friend and they need to get going.
A few days later it dawns on me that there has been no follow-up, no call nor email to say thanks or I appreciate your time, or “I learned a lot and you were helpful.” It’s almost as if this person expected this of me.
So here’s my question, of which we already know the answer.
Is it unrealistic expectations on my part or just the entitlement people feel that explains why people act like this? Just like the woman at Target, they think they should be first. I find it amazing how people are losing expressions of common courtesy, of acknowledging that someone is going out of their way on the other’s behalf. But it’s just me expecting too much sometimes.
Of couse, being nice doesn’t pay (and that’s another conversation…) but I guess it only mattered to me, as I wondered about my so called friend and the others. They could care less.

Or like my beautiful and wise grandmother says: Mejor que ni te llamen. ¿O les quieres invitar otro café?

6 thoughts on “No More “Mr. Nice Guy”

  1. I totally agree. Your blog is very accurate. I actually go out of my way for people too and find it very sad that some people have no problem taking others for granted. I will say this… the people you speak of will run out of others to use. One by one they will eleminate their friends by their rude, concious behavior. The lady at Target, if her kid wasn’t there I would have suggested “bitch slapping” her upside her head. As for the other person…not worth your time or energy. Do not stop doing nice things…stop doing nice things for people who show you they don’t care.

  2. my advice to you: just stop being nice, be a little ¨sangrona¨ especially to the mean men who cross your path…

    about target lady: I hate it when people without disabilities or strollers use the handicap restroom when there are other restrooms available… but in your case it was an exception.That lady was just having a really bad diaper day, maybe… I can sort of understand.

  3. Amazing that people still don’t get a clue about being courteous and at least acknowledge that some people take the time to help someone out. I think that they feel “entitled” or worst yet, they assume that the world revolves around them. Unfortunately, now a days, nothing surprises me.

  4. jajajajaaa…a que las abuelas…sabiduria sin limites…chula, it’s sad but true even friendships are falling into the bin, some times they are recycled into better things, but others they are just re-used as something else…it’s in our mexican blood chula, we treasure our friends, for us friendships gets better with age – as do we all!- it’s another of the ugly consequences of these times, use it and throw it away: cel phones, computers, marriages, friendships…por cierto, te mande el artículo de un Mr. Eduardo What’shisname sobre este mismo tema??? como decía un amigo mio: piensa mal y acertarás…no me encanta, pero desconfía muchito antes de entregar tu alma a alguien chula, because you don’t give a little, you give it all when you consider someone “a friend” and I’m talking from experience sister-friend…xoxo

  5. Ni modo amiga, que no te quite las ganas de mandar buena vibra, si hay gente que lo aprecia todavia. Y aparte del consejo sabio de tu abuelita, follow the ‘Fool me once’ motto. Un beso y abrazo

  6. Jajajajaja, rete buenos los consejos mi Cristi!!
    No tienes por que dejar de ser tu misma, sigue siendo amable, linda y sigue enviando buena vibra! La energia fluye y eso tarde que temprano se regresa. Y lo mismo para las otras personas, las que son egoistas y sacan partido de otras. No te enganches; la vida es muy sabia y a cada quien le llega su merecido en su momento.
    Pero eso si de que da coraje da coraje!! Pero piensa que los que pierden son ellos y no tu!!
    Sigue sonriendo y aydando a la gente que puedas que siempre hay alguien que si lo valore y te regrese la misma sonrisa….

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